Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
