That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize