Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
