I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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