Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
