your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
