My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
handjob tips. give me some.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
