we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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