Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize