I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
