we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
