I cockslap morals
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
