I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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