I wannas sexs uuuuu
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
