based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
