Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
