Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
