fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Be still, my beating vagina.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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