I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize