Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
