oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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