I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
