North Korea, Best Korea!
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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