worst night to have a conscience
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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