ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize