your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
