I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Drunk is not a location!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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