CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
