my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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