I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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