you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
