were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
