Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
