we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
