the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
