One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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