The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
