u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
