I'm jealous of your bromance
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
