I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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