mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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