theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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