We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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