i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
