There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
