dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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