too bad you live with your parents still
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
