Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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