But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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