why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
