Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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