I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
my liver is dry heaving
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
