Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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