me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.