Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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