i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
PS: I just woke up from my shower
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I still have a little drunk in my system
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty