He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
