Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize