I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
