I can text with my tongue
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
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I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
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I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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