Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
