I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
