so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
