wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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