I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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