I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
