Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Randomize
