She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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