Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
third nipple confirmed
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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